Hooray we are back.
Hopefully you have your list of rules.
What did you learn from this activity?
Sometimes we remember what events caused us to have these rules and other times we just know they are there from our actions in the present. Where they come from is not as important as what we do with them, and giving ourselves permission to change them or get rid of them totally if we choose to.
Take a look at each one. In what way has this served you and what ways has this hindered you? Be honest with yourself. You don’t have to tell anyone here.
One of my biggies was ” I grow and learn from teaching others”. This is great and very true. However it also had led to crazy things. If I want to be a better parent of teens, then I will teach a class at church on parenting teens. If I want to be a better cook, I will start my own business of selling kitchen tools and doing home demonstrations. While these were good things and worked to help me learn and others too, it also is very exhausting and cannot be the only way I learn and grow. So I changed the rule to – One way to learn is to share a tidbit of what I learn with another. This allows success in this area to be natural and not so far out of reach that I rarely make it. I also can learn from others, reading a book, journaling , or just thinking it through. Whew what a relief 🙂
Another was ” For me to feel peaceful, everyone must get along with each other”. How often was I successful in this? Ahh never. Really,to give up my peace to the whims and emotions of others is giving them way to much power. After wrestling with this for awhile, I forged ahead and declared- ” I am responsible for my own peace” and ” I can feel peaceful whenever I ……. (do yoga, work out, take a walk, pray ) I am not saying this was an easy switch to make. It was one I had to make for my own emotional well being. And now it feels – peaceful!!
Take a look at your list. What things do you need to change, are they worth keeping? Are you able to achieve them yourself? Choose a few and play with them. Try different things and see what works to motivate and empower you. Then live it and experience the difference!!
Next time we will look at conflicting rules and how they just make us crazy!!!