Dealing with the move of my Mother in Law this summer has been a great time of learning and growing for me. I have been amazed at my ability to have great compassion and patience as well as regretful moments of selfishness and anger.
It is such a balancing act for me (and I imagine all of us) to keep up with all the roles we are expected to play in our lives. A few things I have come to terms with during this time have been very helpful.
1)Live in the Present- One of the issues we have faced in this journey is sorting through and getting rid of many, many years of stuff. I am a collector too, so I am understanding that getting rid of things is torture. I do not totally understand why we feel that keeping stuff helps to remember the past, but it is a strong need. Then again, what if I might need it in the future? Somehow this misconception that clutter from stuff can bring me safety has to go. I know it is a gift that I move so much and had to face this over and over again and purge what is not relevant at this time. If I haven’t finished that quilt in 15 years, then I really don’t need to hang on to it as a reminder, and most likely I won’t get it finished in the next 15 . It is freeing to release it. Others can use it or it needs to be thrown away. How wonderful it is to be free of the excess clutter and easily find what is needed for today.
Same with relationships. I need to deal with people where we are today, not how they were years ago or even last week. I have grown and so have they. I must grow with my children, respecting each stage of their lives and adapt to this, rather then hold on to what once was. It is always sad when good friends move away and relationships change. I need to release them and be joyful for them a in this new stage, and be thankful for the good this relationship has brought me.
What can you do to embrace the present in your life? What can you get rid of
to make room for the now?
2) Core Values!
Halfway through the week, I was wondering “Why am I doing so well. This is hard, but I am having fun and life is flowing??” Then it hit me- I was totally walking in my Values!!! Of all the emotional health processes I have done, working on these values has been one of the most impacting. In the past I have taken time to think through the situation and how I could make it work within my values. When I have done this in the past (for example, when I was caring for my mom on hospice), I have been able to balance my life and feel congruent in who I am inside and the me I am presenting outwardly. Life has flowed. So, to find I was doing this unconciously and it was working so well was very exciting. I will write more about values in another blog. I really don’t like the name, but can’t seem to come up with a better one. Your values are the elements of your life that bring great joy. The things you must experience in life that empower you toward your purpose. Just like with the clutter, we often cling to what we think is important when it is keeping us from going forward. The process of developing our values, gives us a chance to evaluate what to keep and what to let go.
This motivated me to make plans for my Core Values Weekend- Nov 1-4. I have done this before with other people, but am excited to do it on my own with my style!! See post on another blog for more info!!
What elements in your life bring you great joy and empowerment? What elements do not and maybe need to be let go?
What do you suggest? How can we embrace the present and enjoy it as a gift?