This month, we have worked on our evening routine and establishing motivating questions to ask ourselves, I wanted to write a little more specific on why these questions are so very valuable. Whenever we ask a question, our brain seeks to find an answer. It will search experiences and memories and countless data banks to find an answer. If we ask, “Why am I so stupid?”, in response to a mistake, it will find reasons for why you are stupid. I always do this or I am just not smart enough etc. Do I really want my brain looking for evidence of my stupidity? Is this motivating me to learn or grow from the experience?? HMM not really. If I ask, ” How can I learn or grow this?” I come up with a completely different set of responses. Or I could ask, ” How can I use this mistake to help others?” Since, I know we are all so imperfect yet feel the need to pretend we are perfect, part of my purpose is to model imperfection and to be real about it. We all make mistakes, fall short of who we think we want to be and really mess up. It is called humanity. It is how we respond to it that develops our character and quality of life and relationships. OOps sorry for the rabbit trail. Back to questions.
Catching those disempowering questions and changing them to a question with an empowering answer is the key. It works in every area of our lives.
Relationships: “Why is this person so annoying?” could be “What is marvelous about this person?” Or if that is too difficult “What characteristics attracted me to this person?”
Motivation: Instead of “Why do I have to do this?” make it ” How can I make this fun?”
Feelings: Instead of “Why does my life suck?” make it “What is good about today?
You see, if you want to change the answer, you just change the question!!
What changes do you want to make in your thoughts and feelings today??
I am off to the pool to do some heavy-duty studying that I have put off. Yes I asked how can i make it fun? and this is my solution!!