My coaching philosophy is a systems approach where we make internal changes to produce outward results. There are times when trying to change external habits or behavior can reveal inner blocks. If we can address these blocks and transform them we can create lasting change and action is not painful or difficult. Let me give a great example here from my life. In this series of blogs, I will walk you through the process. It was too long, so I am having to break it into several posts. This process is helpful for removing blocks in any area of life where you feel stuck.
One of my growing edges is the area of Stuff! Thankfully, I have moved a lot and I have a husband who really can’t stand the chaos of a messy house, so this weakness has not been able to totally take over my life. Still, being in this house for 10 years, I have stuffed my closets, attic and garage with a lot of stuff that does not contribute to my life at this time. Two years ago, after moving my MIL out of her house and dealing with her hoarding issues, I decided to take action and not make my kids ever have to go through this with my stuff. (They were an amazing help in the process, for which I will be eternally grateful.) I have worked on it and taken baby steps toward this goal. It was harder than I thought to keep up with this decision and clean out all the unnecessary stuff in my life. Recently, I had a major break through and everyone was amazed at the results!! .
Step 1- Strategies for lasting change: Identify and Resolve Conflicting Beliefs: Usually when we have something we want to do, and yet can’t really follow through, it is the result of conflicting beliefs.
What are my beliefs that make me need to hold on to stuff? Growing up as a youngest of seven kids, I had a multitude of hand me downs. My favorite clothes, toys, or just about anything came from what was already in the house. One of my strengths is to be able to create something wonderful from virtually anything. The belief, “If I don’t have it, I don’t really need it” served me well in many lean years of ministry. However, the down side of this created a fear of not having what I need, so I need to hold on to fabric scraps, multiple copies of the same thing, clothes from different seasons of life and books I have read and learned from. You never know when you will need these things. Add to this the fact that I really do not like shopping (It’s faster to make a dress then go shopping for a new one) for anything and we have a perfect storm of the chaos of hoarding.
By looking seriously at my belief and being honest about how it serves me and how it does not serve me, I can break its hold on me. In this illustration, the belief is causing me to act from a fearful place rather then move into the future with confidence.
What about you. Do you have an area in your life you are desiring to transform and yet are just not able to make it happen? What belief is holding you down. What about it is serving you and how is it not serving you in your present? Think it through and write them down. If you write it into the comment section here you will know where it is and not lose it. Next time we will talk about what to do with this belief.
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