Forward on the Path of Life!

Interpreting life as a journey helps keep me going.

Sometimes we get a little lost only to find we were on the right path all along and didn’t know it.

Sometimes the path is bright and cheery and others filled with sorrow. Sometimes the direction is clear and sometimes it makes little sense.

Too often I find I am walking someone else path or the one I think I am supposed to be on rather than the path that is unique and true to me.

There are moments in life that seem so amazing, I don’t want them to ever end or change- but they do and life changes and moves on.

Some moments are so filled with pain and hurt we want to move on, but feel so stuck it is hard to take another step.

Others can join us, love us, support us. Sometimes it is for a long time, others it is fleeting. Some people seem to be in our path as obstacles to our movement and happiness. These people can show us parts of ourselves where we need to grow that we would really rather not see.

My current life journey includes launching my youngest into adulthood. It is exciting and scary. For 33 years I have had a child at home to care for, nurture and prepare for moving on.  It seems like a huge step to move on from here.  In reality it is just one step, just like the others, just like each day.

I remind myself of my intentions-

Give and receive love generously

Be open and connected to my creator

Experience fun and excitement in each situation

These are the constants I want to keep in my daily life journey.   For today I will add –

Just keep moving

Your path belongs to you.  Where are you going and how do you want to get there?  What are your intentions for today??

Garden of the God's

In This Moment….

May 8 Waterfall

Today, I sit in my favorite spot on top of my favorite waterfall. The water level is less than it was only a few weeks ago when I had such an amazingly fun time.  I am also aware that next month there will possibly be no refreshing water at all cascading over these rocks. It is a challenge to enjoy the deliciousness of this moment and to accept what is true at this time, in this place. The sun, the breeze, the birds and the cool water all provide a banquet for my heart and soul.

I went for  an annual exam at the doctor.  I like to hear everything is ok and working as it should.  Only, not this time. Hmm… what’s this lump. Of course it is a lump, why did I not notice it myself?  Which led to another appointment, another test and then yet another.  And the expectation of more to come.  Words we really do not want to hear from someone in a white coat. Not what I had in mind for my summer plans. I can take this moment to stay here, accept what is truth and not fight it, yet not make it more than it is.  I know I am stronger than I feel.

I can remember back so very long ago a  situation with a tumor which grew to be as large as my unborn baby.  The fear and struggle from that time tries to fill my heart and soul.  I have to remind myself, “This is now, not then.”  I am in such a different place.  Of course, I can remember the good lessons from that time- love myself, love others, don’t sweat the small stuff , keep a sense of humor and stay in the moment- don’t get ahead of yourself. I just have to look at my amazing 6′ 5 son to remind me of the miracle of that time.

So, here I am  in this moment.  I am free to choose courage over fear.  Acceptance over striving. Peace and grace in this moment.  I can enjoy and celebrate all the love and support from family and friends. Decisions will need to come. Summer plans and goals will adjust and change. Tomorrow, I will deal with what comes my way in the strength of that moment and the next and the next.  I will gratefully return to my waterfall perch in times when I need to refresh, renew and remind myself to accept and thrive in this moment.  There may be an abundance of water or none at all, but still I can choose to embrace this time.  Kind of like my life at this moment.

How can you embrace this moment for yourself?

 

Living With Dementia

Titus and his Great Gram!
Titus and his Great Gram!

All things considered, it could of been a lot worse.  The transition of moving my MIL to my home went very smoothly.  I took her out shopping and eating while hubby and the kids worked hard and recreated her apartment in my former master suite.  On bringing her home we just showed her, her new home.   She keeps forgetting where she lives and we have to bring her into her room over and over again.  Repeatedly, it is like she is seeing it for the first time and is happy with it and very thankful. Continue reading “Living With Dementia”

Conquering the Fear of Decluttering!

My coaching philosophy is a systems approach where we make internal changes to produce outward results.  There are times when trying to change external habits or behavior can reveal inner blocks.  If we can address these blocks and transform them we can create lasting change and action is not painful or difficult.  Let me give a great example here from my life. In this series of blogs, I will walk you through the process. It was too long, so I am having to break it into several posts.  This process is helpful for removing blocks  in any area of life where you feel stuck. Continue reading “Conquering the Fear of Decluttering!”

How was your weekend?? It depends on your perspective!

Fun time or stressful.  The choice is mine!
Fun time or stressful. The choice is mine!

It is so easy to look at the lives of others and think about how amazing they are, and then compare our family and life to this vision.  We see our own foibles and feel somehow like we fall short of the dream life and family.  The truth is there is no perfect life or family.  The reality is that life is a roller coaster.  We can however, choose our focus and the meanings we place on events.  Care for an example from my crazy weekend trip?

Continue reading “How was your weekend?? It depends on your perspective!”

Caring for yourself– Key to peace and preparedness!

Ice Angels
Ice Angels

This is an example of rime icing … supercooled water droplets (i.e., liquid water at subfreezing temperatures) in the fog we had overnight, and these super tiny droplets of water froze as soon as they made contact with the weeds  which were also exuding water creating these very delicate crystalline fibers that got bent into various shapes by the subtle winds tracing out what remains of the leaves here in the woods.

You dare not touch them, for they are hollow and disintegrate into a feathery mound of crystals at the slightest disturbance.  Since our temp today will be above freezing, even for a few hours we will lose these delicate beauties.  This is an example to me of enjoying the beauty of life in small things! (this photo and explanation were sent to me by the local weather man- way too scientific for me to come up with, but can still enjoy!)

We are into day 3 of our icemagedden.  This is a unique pattern for Texans.  Day one is fun and exciting as school and work are closed and kids are enjoying sledding.  But by now our food sources and growing slim and cabin fever has set in. Even the paper is not delivered.

Whenever this is predicted, people make a mad dash to the store, emptying the shelves of water, toilet paper and salsa.Of course the predictions could be wrong and we only get non freezing, but very cold rain.  When it is right, who would  want to be caught without the necessities of life. Everyone’s idea of housebound food is different. I sent my hubby to the store for hot cocoa  and-he returned with frozen shrimp!!

This got me thinking about preparation and how vital it is to life.  When a storm comes we stock up, wrap our faucets and put water in the bathtub. I do have great memories of losing power when growing up and my dad (a former farm-boy) keeping us warm and cozy with the fireplace. While life adventures cannot be predicted by the weather man, we can be prepared in some ways for what might happen.  I do not advocate worry or always looking for the next shoe to drop, but life is often crazy and stuff happens.   Our December habit is self- care.  Stay with me here.  When we neglect our self, we are not ready for the unexpected.  Often when life feels out of control or just very busy, the first casualty is our self.  How many times have we neglected, sleep, eating right, and even bathing when life is uncertain.  These are the things that keep us going and keep us ready.

Thursday night I had finally made it home and ready to stay bundled.   My MIL called and had a bloody mouth, possibly from a fall.   Thankfully, I had gas in my car and could make a mad dash over there.  MY thought was to bring her here for the duration, but when I got there she was fine and couldn’t remember a problem. It was good that I went, even if I did complain and even better that I was prepared for the unexpected.

This month when we focus on peace and joy and reaching out caring for others, lets not neglect the fact we must care for ourselves in order to spread peace and joy to the world.

It might be,diligence in an exercise class once a week, making sure to get to sleep on time, or noticing emotional issues we cannot resolve on our own and taking steps to find a good professional to walk us through.

These people were not prepared!!
These people were not prepared!!

Thankful for this extra hour!!

sunrise
Good morning world!

Hooray for the time change!!

Last night I was ready for sleep at 6pm, but resisted until 9. LOl

Now, this morning, the dogs are up at 5:30 ready to play.  The good news, for my goal of getting up cheerful for the day, is this is very helpful!  Yes, I am up, walked, fed, dressed, music on and ready to write my blog!

A good example to me of embracing what I can’t change (unless I want to move to Arizona).  There are some battles to fight, change, adjust in my life, but this is not one of them and I can adapt and learn and grow.  There are so many areas where I need to release control, it can feel frustrating.  But really, in all situations I can choose to control my thoughts, beliefs and actions.  This is the place where I can choose life, goodness, blessings and joy!

Gratitude is a great place to start.  We overlook many opportunities for gratitude every day.   Are you alive?  Are you breathing?  Can you walk. or move your arms?  Wow!  A great day!    After living in Haiti and showering and washing clothes by hand, I was so grateful for hot water and a washing machine.  It has been awhile since I really appreciated this luxury.

Our habit for November is Gratitude !

What Can you be grateful for today?

When playdoh (or life) loses its fragrance!

A container of pumpkin pie spice. Español: Un ...

What a beautiful autumn day!   Feeling fallish, I wanted to make some pumpkin play dough for my grandson.  To make it, all you do is add pumpkin pie spice (cinnamon, ginger & nutmeg blend) to a basic play dough recipe.  All went well until we added the spice and though I kept adding more and more, I could never get enough for that pungent, delirious smell, I was looking for.   Hmmm………… Evidently pumpkin pie spice does not last for many years and mine must have been too old. So sad.  I did add vanilla which redeemed the moment of adventure and it is good to know I will have to buy more spice before the holiday season is fully upon me.

Sometimes life can be like this.  We don’t even realize when we go along in life, doing what we always do, but maybe there is little joy or adventure or spice of life in our days.     We need to know that the need for adventure or surprise in our lives is critically important.  If we go too far into security, life can become boring and mundane, and then often we react in an unhealthy way to balance this need.  We might overspend, or pick a fight with a loved one, just to break up the monotony.

While it may not be an easy fix like just going to the store and buying more, how can we replenish ourselves with a new batch of spice in a healthy, profitable way?  One way could be a habit of “Celebrating the New”.  You know how much I dislike change in my life, so in working on being more open with change, I decided not to call it change, but “newness”.  While it has been helpful in making friends with change, an unexpected benefit has been a new excitement or sense of adventure in my spirit!  ( I love it when one action has multiple benefits!)

What are some ways to celebrate the New?   As with anything, planning is the key.  It sounds like an oxymoron, to plan for surprise, but otherwise it just won’t happen.

1)Take regular trips–  You don’t have to go far.  Just a change of scenery and getting out of your normal routine, even if just  over one night can help.  Look at the next 12 months and plan to get away every 3 months.   This is just 4 times in a year.  It opens the door for new thoughts, feelings, insights and brings perspective.

2) Ethnic meals–  Once a month or perhaps once a week, go to a different restaurant that serves a different type of ethnic food.  There are so many choices and options.  Ask friends for suggestions of their favorite places.  Or, you could get a few friends together and take turns hosting a meal (they could cook or get take out) of different types of food.  You might say, I don’t like Lebanese or Thai food.   HMMM….. I think that is the point!  Get out of the rut and stretch yourself.

3)Music– If you listen to your playlist like we do for our morning or evening routines in the same order, this meets our need for security and stability.  What happens if we add new songs or just put it on shuffle?  It meets this need for surprise/ adventure!  What could be easier than that!  Or, if you walk or drive one way every day, then today, try a different route.  Little adjustments can bring great benefits.

Do you have any ideas?!  How can you “Celebrate the New”  today and bring some new spice in your life!?

At least the pumpkin patch was a big hit!  Now that is an adventure!
At least the pumpkin patch was a big hit! Now that is an adventure!

The Best and Worst!

As we are working on our evening routines this month, I have a great suggestion for communication.  One of my favorite things, when my kids were young, was to tuck them in bed.  This was such a special one on one time. My favorite thing was when  I would ask, “What was the best thing about the day?”  and “What was the worst thing about the day?”.  Then just listen.  This was not a time for teaching, training or other lectures.  Just entering into their world to mourn and rejoice with them on their perspective of life at the moment.  In addition to sharing a moment and feeling heard, this teaches them about life.  A normal life has ups and downs, highs and lows, every day.  Often we either stuff the bad in denial or only focus on the bad things and feel like life is awful.  Learning to accept both and go on is a very special gift.  Adding, ” What are you looking forward to tomorrow?”.  This shifts the focus to a new day and new possibilities.

These questions are helpful in any relationship.  Lunch or coffee with a friend or spouse, or conversation with a co-worker.  It shifts the relationship into a deeper level without overly prying.

It is also a great tool for communication with your self.  Just like I mentioned above, asking these questions regularly, keeps you out of denial without over focusing on the bad and feeling overwhelmed and negative.  A very good thing!!

Here is to the day!  Both the highs and the lows!

 

On this Day!

One thing we all share in common with everyone on the planet is —  We all have a mother and no one else has been with us from the very beginning of life!

On a holiday set apart as “Mothers Day” we all have different responses.  Some joy in our relationship or in our role in life, or some with grief or sorrow because of the loss of this relationship or perhaps pain from issues or hurt overt he years.  As a daughter I am aware of all of these- unmet needs and expectations and also my often unloving behavior.  As a mom, I am aware of how hard it is to be the kind of mother I desire and my falling short many times, as well as how wonderful it is when it all clicks.

As a life coach, I am very aware of how mother issues effect many areas of our life. We all struggle with the balance of honesty about our pain, acceptance of our mom’s, honor, loyalty, connection and being our own person.  Personally I am so grateful for the issues with my teenage daughter which led me to seek help and deal with my own  mother issues.  This process opened the door to a whole new way of living, thinking and feeling.  It allowed transformation with all my children, my mother and my husband and really everyone around me.  People often avoid looking at these mother issues because it is easier to bury the pain and think it is going to be painful or dishonoring to her to go there.  What I have seen so many times is by being honest and bringing these issues to light (with the help of someone trained and experienced) we come out on the other side in a true place of love, acceptance of your mom!

For today, how can you be grateful for your mom?   If not for her, you would not be alive.  The unique person you are would not exist!  This if nothing else is a cause to celebrate this Mothers Day!  If she is alive be sure to tell her in some way.  If she is no longer on this earth, tell her anyway– You can say it aloud, plant a flower, sit in the sunshine —  Life is a gift and this is a good day to celebrate it!

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