I love my morning walks. The peace and quiet and calmness in the air. Getting out, moving, breathing in the cool of the night, before beginning the business of the day, is a special time. There are other runners and walkers, and we greet each other with a nod or quiet, “Good Morning”. We all accept each other in this unique camaraderie. Two days of the week are different. On these days everyone in the neighborhood sneaks out early in the morning, toting all the items in their home they consider unwanted at this time; placing them on the curbside ritually, ensconced in tombs of white or black plastic wrappers. Then as if by magic, these items are never seen again. Those of us who inhabit the streets at this time know the secret. We are aware of the large trucks and burly men who stealthily roam the roads, graciously gathering all the offerings and leaving nothing behind. I have lived in places where trash disposal is not quite so seamless and automatic, so I do not take this service for granted and am in awe at how easy it is.
Wouldn’t it be great if we could dispose of all undesired emotions, thought and hurts of the past just this easily. Every week, just make a choice and decide, “This is not serving me, I am letting it go.” Last week I cleaned my MIL’s apt, then we went out and did some running around in the car. The whole time, I was wondering which one of us smelled bad. This smell got worse and worse as the day went on. Finally, on arriving home, I noticed I had not stopped at the dumpster and deposited the trash, but had been driving around all day with it in the back seat!! This is what we to often do with our emotional junk. Either we continually wallow in it, bringing it up in every conversation, using it for an excuse to not go forward with our lives or we stick it in the truck, pretend it is gone and yet it continues to drag us down, use up our energy and make us feel less then.
What would life be like if we noticed our junk and had a plan for getting rid of it on a regular basis?? For me, I think “FREEDOM!”
What I like about Life Coaching is that it is present and forward thinking. Where are you going and how can we get there? There are times though, when you have to realize you are driving around with some crap in your brain or heart. You know there is fear there. You know you react to situations or people, based not on the present, but on the past. We want to be forward thinking and living, but how do we get rid of old hurts and hangups?
While many of our past stuff shows up in emotions, the easiest way to change it is noticing the thoughts and beliefs we have picked up on our journey in life. They often feel like such a part of who we are, we don’t notice how incongruent they are with our present life.
Whenever I have an overreaction or feel a way I don’t want to, I ask, “What do I have to believe to feel this way?” Then, is this empowering to me – pushing me forward toward my purpose or is it dis-empowering and limiting. How can I change it so that it serves me and the world?
Example-I had some one in leadership, make a decision concerning me without consulting me or discussing the facts with me. This felt like a violation, since I knew the correct facts and did not feel respected or part of the team. I replayed it in my mind, getting angrier and angrier. I knew it was an overreaction, but still was caught up in the drama of it. (To be fair, I was on an anti-viral medication which made me agitated, but still I knew it was not consistent with who I am). When I asked myself, “What am I believing to feel this way?”, I was amazed to come up with, ” In order to be valuable in life, people need to listen to me.” Hmmm, I usually have very good boundaries and know my value can not be based on what others do or think. Somewhere though, this thought had snuggled inside my heart as an idea that made sense to this youngest of seven kids. It came up in the present, in a situation where I was feeling pushed back into this role. So, I told myself the truth, very strongly replacing this thought with one that is empowering. ” I am acceptable and accountable to God.” “No one can make me feel less than unless I allow it, and I don’t !!” It helps to do something physical with the old one. Write it down and – burn it, flush it down the toilet etc. Then, write the new one and place it where you can see it and repeat it often during the day! This changes my reaction. I can deal with the decision from an adult place. I may not agree with it or like it, but really it does not affect who I am.
This may sound like a lot of effort and it does require some thought and effort. But really, how much effort and
energy is it to carry around your junk all the time? Get rid of it, let it go!! Once it is gone, it is gone and you are released. Yes, it is a continual process and it is always surprise when things come up now, but this means I am moving forward and encountering new situations that allow growth in new areas.
Sometimes, you can do this on your own or sometimes you might need a coach to walk you though this process, at least at the beginning and then it becomes a life long habit of freedom. While I am not large and burly like my trash men, it is my passion to walk beside others, helping them rid their lives of unwanted baggage.
What could you get rid of and how would that change your life?